Harkside 2025-3-12 11:34
笑话5则
[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]笑话一：《老师的“灵魂拷问”》[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]语文老师在讲台上问大家：“谁能用‘春天’造个句子？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小明高高举起手，说：“春天来了，我和小红在公园里玩游戏。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]老师满意地点点头，又问：“那用‘夏天’呢？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小明继续说：“夏天到了，我和小红在泳池里游泳。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]老师接着问：“那用‘秋天’呢？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小明想了想，说：“秋天到了，我和小红在田野里捡稻穗。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]老师满意地笑了，又问：“那用‘冬天’呢？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小明挠挠头，说：“冬天到了，我和小红在民政局领证了。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]
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[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]笑话二：《面试官的“神逻辑”》[/size][/color][/font]
[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小李去面试，面试官问：“你有什么特长？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小李回答：“我特别能睡。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]面试官愣了一下，问：“那你能举个例子吗？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小李说：“比如闹钟响了，我能再睡半小时。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]面试官又问：“那你还有什么特长？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小李说：“我特别能吃。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]面试官问：“能举个例子吗？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小李说：“比如一碗饭，我能吃两碗。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]
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[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]笑话三：《老板的“奇葩要求”》[/size][/color][/font]
[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]老板在开会时说：“大家要提高工作效率，少说多做。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小王举手说：“老板，那开会的时候我们是不是可以不说话？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]老板想了想，说：“那你先从今天的会议开始吧。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小王高兴地点点头，刚想坐下，老板又说：“不过，你得把你的想法写在纸上交给我。”[/size][/color][/font]
[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]
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[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]笑话四：《快递小哥的“误会”》[/size][/color][/font]
[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]快递小哥敲门，说：“您好，您的快递到了。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]门打开后，一位大爷探出头，问：“啥快递？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]快递小哥递过包裹，说：“您女儿给您寄的。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]大爷接过包裹，笑着说：“这孩子，寄个包裹还写了个‘急件’，我也不急啊。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]快递小哥说：“是啊，她说您最近可能需要。”[/size][/color][/font]
[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]
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[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]笑话五：《程序员的“浪漫”》[/size][/color][/font]
[font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]程序员小张给女朋友发消息：“亲爱的，我今天代码写得特别顺手，心情超好。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]女朋友回复：“那你今天是不是没加班？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小张回复：“没有，我提前把明天的代码也写完了。”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]女朋友回复：“哇，好厉害！那你明天是不是可以陪我一天？”[/size][/color][/font][font=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Segoe UI, Arial, Roboto, PingFang SC, MIUI, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, sans-serif][color=#060607][size=14px]小张回复：“不行啊，明天得去修bug。”[/size][/color][/font]